Post number nine, Car Wash

Funny how when one is open to the possibility of meeting new people, or more specifically just when I've met someone new I'm interested in getting to know better, the floodgates of getting flirted with open up. To wit:

Today, I went to the car wash to make sure it looks sharp for the Academy Awards valets. Same car wash I've been going to for years. Never spoken to anyone there, usually hiding behind my sunglasses or with my nose buried in a book. As I sat watching the guy polishing my car, I felt eyes burning a hole in me. I looked back. Cute, but I wasn't interested for a whole lot of reasons, none of which have anything to do with him.

He came over and struck up conversation. Brave, but still wasn't really interested.

He's a struggling actor who claims to have just signed a 13 week contract to appear on a soap opera. Good for him, but really, not interested. I was sending him all the signals of disinterest, looking around while he was talking, barely keeping my end of the conversation going, and still he persisted.

He complimented my looks, my jeans, my car, and finally my sunglasses. Prada or nada, I not-so-wittily quipped. Not even lame rhymes detered him. Saved by the bell---my car was finished, and I excused myself with a handshake. He insisted I take his number.

"Maybe we can chill sometime."

"Good luck with your acting career."

I got in my car and drove away. See you on TV, kiddo. I will never call you.

This rarely, if ever, happens to me---I am usually too dense to notice, and always way too shy to make a first move. When it does happen, it has always been quasimodo or his dumber older brother. This is the second time this week an attractive stranger has approached in a random place and introduced himself. (The first was at the gym. Of course.)

It felt good to be desired.

Too bad it wasn't a new friend from another coast.

Post number eight, I heart NY.

So, two weeks have passed…I missed last week’s entry, and so I slink back in here quietly, hoping nobody noticed. I owe you one, whoever you are reading this.

Two songs are bouncing around in my head today. Haven’t started the piano lessons yet, but am hammering away at these songs anyway. I can play them for you, if you come over or recommend an appropriate hotel lobby with grand piano. Until then, for your listening pleasure (gee, it would be handy to know how to link music clips here):

#1 - Nature Boy, with its line “The greatest thing you’ll ever know, is just to love and be loved in return." Pretty much sums up my whole philosophy.

#2 - What Can You Lose, a Sondheim gem from the otherwise pretty dismal tunes he wrote for Dick Tracy, pretty much sums up my usual approach to people I’m attracted to:

Leave it alone
Hold it all in
Better a bone
Don’t even begin
With so much to win,
There’s too much too lose.

Admittedly, this is not the strongest online journal entry, but somehow sums up exactly where I’m at…open to possibilities, optimistic about the future, and a little bit afraid.

I leave you with the deep thought of a friend who’s experiencing growing pains (and who isn’t, really?)

I know more than I should, but less than I want to.

Post number seven, dance if you wanna.

This week, a different kind of love. A love just as intense and important as my usual romantic obsession. Art. Seeing it. Hearing it. Watching it. Most important of all, the hunger to make it.

The last few days have been an inspiring clarion call to work harder at making something out of this short life other than money. They’ve also been a bit depressing, as I realize how much time I continue to waste at the nine-to-five.

Exhibit A: Friday night. THE NARROW MARGIN. An incredible film noir from 1952. Written so tightly, it only needs an hour to tell entire story.. It is all about economy in story and character and is still satisfyingly full of great lines, visual flair, as well as twists and turns. In it, I felt the sheer joy of good writing.

Exhibit B: Saturday night. BAD EDUCATION. Another movie. Pedro Almodovar. As over the top as THE NARROW MARGIN is lean. And just as effective, in a different way. Almodovar’s super stylized visual eye coupled with great performances from Gael Garcia Bernal and Fele Martinez make this an unforgettable film. The film steals from liberally from Hitchcock and Nicholas Ray, but in a great way. It is obvious how much Almodovar loves the cinema, and I love his love. (Oh yeah, and the movie itself is about love. Messy, unequal, unrequited, miserable tragic first love.) I related completely to both the director’s love for the art of movies, and the story’s murky heartbreaking take on Love.

Exhibit C: Sunday afternoon. Paul McCartney’s Superbowl halftime show. To entertain a bunch of drunks waiting for the second half has to be among the most thankless tasks in the world. Especially the year after Janet Jackson. I’m not a huge fan of Sir Paul, although I was the only person at the party who had even hear of Wings. As he launched into “Hey Jude” for what must be the at least the ten millionth time, it occurred to me how satisfying it must be to be in the twilight of your life and have a hundred thousand people singing along to a song you wrote some thirty years ago. Like him or loathe him, he’s still doing his thing after all these years---singing his songs---and I really admire him for that.

Exhibit D: Sunday night. The Eric Reed Trio. Jazz Bakery. Culver City. His first set was tight---gave me a new appreciation for Dave Brubeck, among other things. Between sets, I moved to a better seat so I could see Reed’s hands as he played, and the second set was incredible---mostly Thelonious Monk, who’s music I love. I was so moved by their version of Reflections, I had to leave. To get some fresh air. To think. I hurried out of the room, wired, thinking to myself, “in my next life, I’m gonna be an incredible pianist.”

Then it occurred to me.

Who cares about the next life? What matters in all aspects of life is this right here, right now.

While the quest for love with another person with whom we share everything is important, it is just as important to follow ALL of our dreams with equally unembarrassed passion. As near as anyone can tell, we only get one shot at this. And besides, if you don’t have any other dreams, what exactly will you share with Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Me? I’m going write. I’m going to start piano lessons again. I’m going to do many and any other things, too...all of the desires waiting patiently in the back of my mind will have their day.

You? Paint that painting. Take that class. Write that novel. Start that business. Make that movie.

Sing your song.